When I first received my letter of rejection from Oxford University, my future began to crumble beneath my feet. The second time I thought about it, the same thing happened, and the third and the fourth. It was only when I finally began to accept that I could no longer do anything about it that I began to feel whole again. Even now though, there are times when I think, oh man I didn’t get into Oxford which causes a suffocating blanket of doom to wrap itself around me.
Remember my previous post on dreams and aspirations? Well, studying at Oxford was mines and I had latched on to that idea since the beginning of college, although its roots lay in my visit to Oxford during year ten. Of course, I knew how hard it was going to be and the challenges involved but the thought of actually studying there thrilled me and as the pieces began to fit together, a slither of hope inside me grew until I thought it was actually possible.
To have your dreams come crashing down is a difficult thing to accept but as time moves on, I have begun to accept life as it is. The healing process takes time though but I hope that as I begin studying at University, I will enjoy it to such an extent that all thoughts of Oxford will be truly forgotten.
I have also realised that one of the main reasons why I wanted to go to Oxford was because I was-and still am-worrried about my future. I saw studying at Oxford as a ticket to a better life as it would open doors for me in terms of jobs and my career. This uncertainty is what causes worry, the uncertainty over how stable the future will be, will there be jobs available or will there be a fierce fight over the scraps?
The question many students paying £9,000 a year for their tuition are wondering is: will all my hard work be worth it?