I am contacting you with regards to a matter of utmost importance, significance and urgency. It is a question which has largely been forgotten today, drowned by the hordes of masses who have swarmed in the early hours of the morning to the hub of electrical devices and discounts.
So, the question is: Can I have a Black Friday discount on my tuition fees?
A Worried Student
(Feel free to share and send to your own university.)